Ticker to Goal

Sunday, 11 December 2011

So far in bandland ...

My name is Sarah. I'm 30. I'm a primary school teacher from Hertfordshire in the UK. I'm not really very interesting (IMO anyways) but the day before my last birthday I made the incredibly difficult decision to have a lap band fitted. I have been overweight (and pretty on the inside) for as long as I can remember. I have tried so many different diets and fitness programs, I have lost count. I have gone up and down on the scales like a yo-yo. Until recently, I had a wonderful, amazing boyfriend to whom my weight never mattered. He made me feel beautiful as I am, but that was not enough. I long to be thin. I dream of buying clothes in a size 10, of not hating myself for how I look, of not cropping my bum out of every photo, of shopping for designer labels (that are not just handbags), of not spending my day paranoid about how other people perceive me, of not being terrified to tell people how much I really weigh, of not thinking people are watching me eat and thinking "well, that explains that," of not measuring my self worth by how well or not I am doing on my latest diet. In short, I long to only be the fat girl, on the inside.

Since I have never been really thin, I have no real numbers goal. I want to be a real size 10 but I'd be more than happy with a real size 12. I want to be fit and healthy. I want to be able to run on a treadmill for a decent amount of time without feeling like I am going to die. Someone I know, who also has had chronic weight loss difficulties, had a band fitted, and spent a year and a half telling me how brilliant it was. I was jealous but I was scared. I told myself I had until I was 30 to do it by myself, but I was not going to spend my 30's as miserable as my childhood, teenage years and 20's! One day I am going to be a beautiful bride and a yummy mummy.

I was banded on October 23rd 2011 (to coincide with half term) by Mr Paul Super with The Hospital Group. Surgery went smoothly and I was really pleased with THG but general anesthetia and I don't get on very well. My blood pressure dropped to be quite low and with a swollen stomach it took a lot of drinking to get back to normal. My mum stayed with me for a couple of days after I got home from the hospital and was great at coping with my mood swings. I had a lot of wind pain from the gas they used to inflate my abdomen. I chewed deflatine like there was no tomorrow. I lost 12 lbs on the 2 weeks of liquids.

I went onto soft and then hard foods and managed to maintain my weight loss, even though I soon started going through (what I now know as) bandster hell. I had my first band fill on 2nd December (5 weeks and 3 days post surgery). They put in 2.5 ml. I have VERY LITTLE restriction. I am still having to be very discipline but today the scales have reported their first loss since going onto solid food! :oD

I have also joined a gym. I'm not hugely unfit (I walked a whole cross country marathon in September) but I don't like exercise. Getting all hot and sweaty in public, is not my idea of fun. In the past though, I was quite good at making myself go so I am going to get back into the habit. So many of the bloggers talk about how important exercise is to their journey. Taking a lead from them, I have joined, I have gone 3 times so far and I will go again tomorrow.

Most of my friends do not know I've been banded. I have chosen carefully. The few people I have told have generally been amazing, supportive and understanding. One (I was shocked) told her entire family. I understand why (I didn't say please don't tell your family) but since she know I wasn't really telling most of my friends, I find it irritating. However, what's done is done. It is not worth arguing about since it hasn't affected me in any way. I know she meant well.

Before Pics

August 2007 - San Francisco, USA

 August 2009 - Venice, Italy

September 2011 - Finishing the Memory Walk Marathon

August 2011 - Disney World, Florida, USA

Yes, me in a swimsuit, learning to surf! It was fun. I mastered hanging on but I couldn't stand up.


Lolli said...

Hello sarah! New follower here. I too stalled as soon as I moved to real food and just started seeing the scale move a couple weeks ago. Im newly banded, as well, on 10/27, and am so happy ive done this. Down 28lbs, including preop. Happy to be following you on your new life! :)

Sarah said...

Thanks Lolli, it's great to know I'm not alone then. Can't wait to see the scale moving downwards more. I know I am waiting on my next fill but I just believe this is the best decision I have made in my life.

Bzybee said...

Good luck in your journey.. hope the scales will be kind for you..