Ticker to Goal

Monday, 11 March 2013

Motivation wanted ... will pay £££

I have been a bad blogger ... again.

I've been busy with work and Pampered Chef stuff and applying for jobs and Andy but nowhere near busy enough to not blog. I've been ill but not properly in bed, off work type ill. Just fed up and tired and in need of an early night.
It's all excuses and rubbish ones at that.

The real reason I haven't been here is shame. I am failing. I want to diet but I can't find any willpower. I'm not hungry. I have a really good level of restriction. I just want to eat crap. I know it is all in my head but I can't get over it. I don't psych myself up for the gym enough. It seems at the moment the "blustery wind"
(read icy Siberian gales) mean I just need to come home and curl up under a blanket.

I go to Mexico in 19 days!!!!!! 19!!!!! And I have lost 3 lbs of my 21 lbs target. Pathetic. Rubbish. I should hang my head in shame. I mean that has to be some of the best motivation ever, right?

But my boyfriend loves me and I feel comfortable in my own skin for the first time in years. Maybe for the first time ever. I will get there, eventually. Not in time for Mexico. Maybe not by the summer but I am still winning the war.