Ticker to Goal

Sunday, 26 February 2012

Unauthorised absences

Sorry fellow bandsters, bloggers and bloggerettes, I have been an absentee.

I am swamped at work. I don't know if school reports exist elsewhere the way they do in Britain. Our reports are not just grades and targets, they are essentially 3 page essays on each child. They suck. Trying to find different ways to say sometimes very similar things.

Also my head is unhappy with me again so I am trying really hard to stay on top of things and keep my head down. This, sadly, leaves little time for blogging or gym trips :-(

On the weightloss front, I am getting there. I have a good level of restriction and I don't feel tummy hungry very often. I've lost 5lbs in the last 2 weeks (the second week with no exercise). I am really pleased but looking forward to things easing off a little.

Hope you are all well. xx

Friday, 17 February 2012

I lost my Zumba virginity this morning.

So, yesterday, I was about to leave to go the gym when I massive emotional meltdown. I had worked myself into a such a state about seeing my friend that I just crumbled. When I came out of my little ball, I realised I had to just go and get it over with. "but then I won't work out today," said the little voice on my shoulder. "I really want to stick to that resolution. Going to the gym is most important. You can be an hour or so late. It'll be fine." By this stage, I was already at the time I should leave the gym to be on time to see her. I spent half an hour arguing with myself. Then I realised, I was procrastinating going to see her because I was scared.

So I got changed out of my gym clothes, got my nice clothes on and left to see my friend. We had a wonderful time. She was really supportive of everything that has been going on with my Mum and several times said "Well, you know I'm impartial but he's a complete c***!" (and she doesn't use bad language, especially words like that) Some of it was quite emotional but it was good to just be together and have someone who didn't mind me falling to bits. Her husband came home and we all talked. I feel most awkward about seeing hime. Ed is his friend but he knows how badly he's behaved and he has to see me. I don't like them being in the middle. I cope we can eventually get to a place so it's not horrible for them.

I made it to dive club slightly later than planned, but we were all running quite late. We had lots of fun and laughs and discussed our future diving adventures. It was really good to see everyone. One of my friends bought some sparkling wine (she always brings something) and crisps. I had one glass of sparliking wine. I sipped slowly. I was careful. It was delicious. :oD Happy Sarah

This morning I got up and went to Zumba. I felt bad because I didn't go to the gym yesterday but I decided to try really hard today. I enjoyed it but it didn't nearly kill me like I expected nor was it particularly great fun. It was just like a regular dance aerobics class. I kept up. I sweated. There were a lot of older women in this class (being a weekday) so I wonder if the Sunday one will be harder. I shall see. I am trying that this week.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Going visiting

I am off to the gym in a bit and then I am going to visit a friend in Surrey and her beautiful little girl. Out of all my friends, she is the one who I have known for longest. I haven't told her about my band, even though I have seen her twice since. I will probably tell her one day but it hasn't really arisen yet. The last couple of times I have worried that it will be awkward because she (and her husband) introduced me and Ed at their wedding. (We were sat together, became friends, had a brief fling, lost touch, became friends, love blossomed  blah blah blah ...) I hate the idea that they are being put in the middle or feel torn in any way. Her husband and Ed are really good friends and bike buddies but my friend, as much as she loves Ed, knows he has been a complete ******. Only time will tell.

Hopefully I will make it back round the M25 (read giant London ring road of hell) in time to go to dive club tonight. My diving friends have been so supportive, I would love to see them.

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Little Miss Smug

So yes, I got up and went to the gym. I did all my cardio work but left the weights because by the time I got there, I was running late and had to make up some time.

I came home showered, took Mum to the hospital for appointment one. We were 5 minutes late. When we got there, we had to wait 20 minutes. No she had not missed her appointment, the radiographers were talking in the prep room and nobody else was there! We went into town to do some jobs and then I bought my radioactive mother back to the house on strict indtructions she was not to stroke my cat. We had lunch. I had 2 regular sized spoons of mashed potato and some baked beans. I didn't finish and had to eat only 2 beans at a time. I am defiantely tighter.

Then we went back at 1.30 for appointment two. We waited 25 minutes. Mum went in and I stayed outside. The water fountain wasn't working but I was a dutiful daughter and read my book until she came out an hour later. Then we went to pick up my car. It drives funny now. The clutch is really low down and sensitive. I know I just need to get used to it now it's changed but I hate when things cost huge amounts of money and then you have to get used to them. I stalled 3 times on the drive home. It was REALLY embarrassing.

I can't be bothered

I got up early to go to the gym and start some work before my Mum comes over so I can take her to the hospital for her bone scan. I went to bed late and am shattered. I really can't be bothered but I am going anyway. I am doing this because it is what you my dear wonderful inspiring friends would do.

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

A filling Valentine's Day

I have to confess, that I started today on quite a downer. It is valentine's day and I have nobody special to share it with ... unlike last year when I was all loved up, my grandfather had only just passed away a month before but I was still very perky considering and we had a wonderful evening together. I was convinced that today would be rubbish. So I decided to take advantage and send a facebook message to the people I haven't told (but need to) about my bad run. I don't do a lot of status updates and cryptic things on facebook but certainly my last few have all had comments by others that looks like some people have been deliberately told and others left out of the loop. I don't like that and although that is how I am with my band, I don't want my Mum's illness to be like that. Also some people seemed to have added 2 and 2 and come out with 37 so it needed clearing up. I wrote one message to 20 + people saying the whole bad run deal (some people didn't know Ed and I weren't together and some people didn't know my Dad has been diagnosed with a rare face condition either) I cried writing it several times but it needed to be done and then I read some blogs. Andrea's post this morning made me cry. I have been such a misery guts about this stupid day, that I forgot what matters is that I love a lot of people and they love me. I resolved to be more positive and left for my fill.

All went well apart from the 40 minute wait because the fill nurse got her times muddled up. I am tighter. I have another half a ml in. I can drink easily but have no desire to glug when I went to the gym. The soup I had for lunch at 1.30 pm has kept me satisfied along with the chocolate buttons (IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY!!!) I sucked on at 6 pm (after the gym). It is now 9 pm and I will possibly have some more soup after this. I met a very nice lady who keeps her band very tight and we talked being banded. It is good to chat to people in person about their experiences.

As I left for the clinic, I got a text from one of the 20+ saying how sorry she was etc. I got home afterwards to 5+ more messages and emails. I had another 5 after my nail appointment and the gym. I have had 3 people I haven't spoken to in ages text me tonight.

Valentine's day is very much a good holiday. My friends love me and I love them too. (and now I am crying again, soppy me!) I am very very blessed.

Monday, 13 February 2012

So today wasn't my lucky day.

Yesterday evening, I spent 4 hours turning the house upside down searching for the paper part of my driving license. Here in the UK, we have a 2 part driver license (photocard and paper counterpart with extra information on) which we don't have to carry with us. I needed to show it as I was taking my car to be serviced and getting a courtesy car. Normally I keep it safely organised away but in the lounge decoration project (that was done in a pre band hurry) it has been mislaid. I finally found it at half 11.

My cleaner was due first thing this morning and since I had to take the car in, I got up early to tidy up after last nights escapedes. I did it. I left a note. I frantically searched for the right money to leave. I left the house. The text arrived. She can't come today. It can't be helped but it grated.

I took the car. I came home. I forgot to go to town and pay the cheques into the bank. I started doing some of my jobs. I didn't get far. The garage phoned. The car needs a new head gasket and the clutch is slipping and needs fixing/replacing or something. Total price £1430! Not including the service. I haggled, I whined, I asked how necessary it all was etc. They said best price they could do, if I have it all done at once is £1450 including the service. I phoned my Dad. I did down the phone eyelash batting. I listened to the lecture on how I need to take better care of my car and how garages try to rip everybody off. Long and short, I have put it on his credit card and "we'll sort it out later." I am living in hope that means he will pay for it or at least let me pay it off at a rate I can afford.

I have spent the rest of the afternoon procrastinating and now I have to go to the gym in the Monday night madness. I haven't got much work done but c'est la vie. I shall do some more when I get back form the gym.

Sunday, 12 February 2012

So I went to the gym ...

and it turns out I've been doing tricep curls all wrong for as long as I've been doing them and now I know how to do them properly, they hurt. Have to do 3 sets now to make up for all the time I've been doing them wrong.

Also my Easter 2013 holiday to Mexico is all booked. Woop woop! :oD

I have been slacking

I can't believe today is the 12th and I haven't blogged at all in February! I have been soooooo busy at work. The doughnuts were a success. The 3 rounds of trials I made tasted nothing like doughnuts and for the most part they looked nothing like doughnuts but they tasted nice and they were healthy-ish. I will never make a cookery teacher. The children had a great time making them and the display looks pretty with all the photos of them mixing and measuring away. I was convinced the US cup system was going to be easier for them to work than weighing out the flour but it totally confused them. (Bless) Fill this cup up to the top with flour, milk etc produced more questions about "Miss, miss, is this enough?" than put flour in the bowl until it says 200 g normally does. I do like working with children, but I do not understand them.

This last week, we have had snow. Not a lot by the standards of most places that get snow but for the week or so a year we get it, it creates a bit of a panic. All the idiots who can't cope with driving in it, do; all the people with no sense, do; all the people with cars they can't drive properly, do; all the people who don't look after their cars and have roadworthy tyres, do; and they country falls to bits. I had to leave 45 minutes earlier to get to work for the same time and then (because we live in an idiotic place where wet socks are the end of the world as we know it) the children have to stay inside, be miserable and are in awful moods because they want to go out to play.

Next week is half term. One week of no school halfway through the term. I have reports to write so I shall be spending most of the week (and some time every day) working on them. They take forever and there is no time to do them during term time so I do appreciate having a week to get up, stay in my pyjamas and curl up on the sofa with the laptop and plod away. Last year laptop and I went to the pub to do some. It's no fun but it is productive.

Weight loss wise, I have also been a bit slack. I have had the worst PMT cravings. I know that I am eating less but I don't feel as though I am. I haven't made good food choices and I haven't been to gym at all. I have eaten quickly, got stuck, been sick and just generally not worked my band. When I do eatr slowly, I can eat for a good 30 minutes and finish a whole side plate full of food. The numbers are decreasing slowly but I need more restriction. I am going for a fill on Tuesday, not a big one, just a little bit of an oomph. I have also decided that during this week, I am going to go to the gym every day and blog every day. It will give me a bit of a break from the reports and hopefully kick start some better habits for the rest of February and March. It might also kick me out of my little depressive slump that I have been in of late.

In other news, my Mummy has seen her new oncologist who has put her on a hormone treatment and are sending her for a bone scan. Now don't get me wrong, the NHS is amazing and an institution Britain should be very very proud of, but I am not a patient person. I cannot stand the waiting. It took 2 weeks to get referred from her lung specialist to the breast cancer specialist and now we have to wait for a referal to a bone scan and then wait for the results. However we are hoping that we can find a way to go back to Disney together in the summer. I am hopeful. My luck has to turn sometime. xx