So over Easter, I went to Riviera Maya in Mexico with one of my best friends and her family for her little brother's wedding. Part of the holiday was utterly fabulous but I will not be in any rush to go away with someone else's family again; too much drama for my liking.
Sorry if you've seen these pictures on FB but blogger isn't playing nicely and uploading from the hard drive.
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| Xcaret nature park |
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| Chichen Itza |
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| Wedding day |
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| Diving |
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| Me and my bestie |
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| I keep telling Andy, I love a man with stubble |
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| Flying foot push with dolphins. They lifted me clear out of the water and it was absolutely incredible. |
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This particular friend and I met about 10 years ago at ww. She has been at goal twice and gained back all the weight again. She is going through a bad patch. She's had depression and binges on everything in sight. Even being a bridesmaid at the wedding has not helped her focus on losing. She is hugely jealous of my surgery and takes any weight loss advice I give her now with a pinch of salt. After all, it's easy for me now, isn't it! lol. In truth though, I'm not sure the band would help. We all know that those lovely naughty binge food goodies go down when nothing else will and that's the stuff she can't stay away from.
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| Me and my bestie 6 weeks before my surgery |
Do people who know you've had surgery, find it hard to accept your advice? How do you inspire them?
10 comments:
Loved all the pics on fb!!! You look great! I don't even try to give people advice on weightloss. If they asked what I did, I tell them...but what worked for me may not work for others. One of my aides got a lapband in February. She has already had more fills in 3 months than I have had in a year and a half. She has also already had an unfill. I have tried giving her advice because I feel like she is relying only on the band to lose weight (which we all know doesn't work), but she made it clear to me last week that she does NOT want my advice...so, I will NOT be offering it any more :)
I don't really give advice to non-bandsters, because I think a lot of people view surgery as "easy" and totally different. I have a friend like yours who has lost and hit goal and gained back and it's tough. Our relationship has definitely changed.
Fun to see the pictures of your trip!
Unless someone asks for my advice, I try not to give it. Sometimes I mess up though, because it is hard when you hear someone struggling not to want to "fix it". I just remember that for me, I often know several "solutions" to a problem, but may not be ready to apply them. Then "advice" can feel like someone finding fault with me. So what I really want is my friend's unconditional support. That is something I can't give myself. Then...other times I do ask for their input as well! Those are times I AM ready to apply action, and need to brainstorm possibilities. Some topics are just more sensitive, too, and weight is usually one of those! (Parenting, marriage issues...usually also!)
Fun pictures!
I think you're right that even the band (or other WLS) wouldn't help her given the issues you touched on... its only a tool that can do its job fully if you're in a good mental place otherwise. I hope she gets to that place and can have success again. :)
It's HORRIBLE, but I was just thinking when I saw the first picture of you two together, "I wonder if overweight friend is jealous of how fantastic you look?" Eek!
One day she'll realize it's not all easy, and she'll probably go the same route you did. Keep your head up, and stop bothering to give her advice. It's only going to lead to, "Well, what do you know, you had to have WLS?" types of responses. Sigh. :(
I could see in your friends face her discomfort...poor girl..I think we have all been there and know how she feels. Good luck!
I think your friends face shows that she is uncomfortable in all of the pictures.
I hope that she can support you and realize that we all have our own deamons to battle.
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