Did you read this post from LBG? It's about a friend of her's who saved her own life from the 2004 Tsunami in Indonesia by running up stairs for over a mile! And I seriously doubt it was running up stairs like I run up stairs to grab my phone or go to the bathroom. She must have been sprinting up them to get away from that water because it came fast. I mean those things come in at 50-60 mph. Faster than cars on standard roads around the UK. About a mile a minute! With a 3 minute head start, you may out run it doing a 4 minute mile!!! Seriously. 15 mph. Can you run that fast? I can't. Even doing 30 second intervals. I can't. Not even remotely close. And that's on the flat. I couldn't have saved myself. I would have been one of the people she passed on the steps, unable to go faster, unable to catch my breath, even though I am fitter than I have been in years, even though I can run hard intervals, push my heart rate into the 170s, lift weights heavier than my dad and run up two or three flights of stairs, I could not have come close. I said as much to LBG. I told her I would use this story to get my arse back into exercise mode. I will tell it to myself every day. I will say over and over again, "I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO SAVE MYSELF!"
The thing that gets me most though, is that she didn't just save herself, she picked up a toddler and carried that child from certain death to safety. She's a heroin. I couldn't save myself and she saved another person. How many parents, climbing those stairs, couldn't pick up their own child and run with them? How many of us bandsters couldn't pick up our children when we started our journeys? How many of us could pick up a child and run down the street? For a bus? Out of a tube station?
I made a decision today. I want children. I always have. I want to be a good parent. I've waited to meet the right man and to start a family when the time is right. Today I realised that I have to be able to save my children in an emergency. I'm not talking running a 4 minute mile carrying a 30 lb toddler but I have to be in the best physical shape of my life. I will be. I am not just saving myself, I am saving my children.
I started today. I kicked arse at the gym. Yes, I've been away from there for nearly as long as I've not blogged. I pushed hard. I did my old program but added on weights and used a harder level on the bike and cross trainer (elliptical). I dripped sweat on everything. It was disgusting. The result was 560 calories burned. I am proud. Have you made yourself proud today?
Oh my goodness, it has been so very long since I last blogged. I can't quite believe it. I knew it was November but I really thought it was nearer the end than the beginning. I always feel bad when I post without reading so I've started a few times but never got to the posting bit. My new year resolution is going to be to make sure I post at least 3 times a week. And get to the gym come to that. And maybe even church.
In the last 8 weeks, I have been crazy busy at school. Every week I thought it would get easier. It didn't. Every week A2 and I have tried to get midweek time together, it hasn't happened. Every week I have meant to watch my calories, get to the gym and loose more weight. I haven't done that. I meant to blog. I meant to read your blogs. I've been slack. I've missed you all.
So the highlights of the last nearly 2 months
* I have put on 6 -7 lbs. That includes Christmas but it was largely across the whole of December. Bad Sarah!
* I had a very small defill at the start of December. I was getting stuck several times a week. I focused on chewing, small bites, taking it slow etc. It didn't help much. There was no 'wiggle' room. The slightest mistake and the whole lot came back up. I had 0.05ml taken out. ("What was the ****ing point in that?" said A2) I've PBed only twice since. Tiny bits! whoop whoop. I'm still not hungry but I do still crave chocolate and other such crap.
* A2 and I are still going strong. It's a bit weird because we are still not officially in a relationship but neither of us is/wants to/intends to see anyone else and there has still been none of the preferred exercise (yes we are very restrained) but the "L" word has been exchanged (starting with him!)Watch this space.
* I'm feeling about 100 billion times happier than this time last year. I can see good things in my future. I can see myself succeeding in my ever ongoing weight battle (I mean if I had ever taken 2 months off before, I would have gained a lot more than 6-7 lbs) and I am so much more positive about my mum's illness. I know she is still terminally ill but her treatment is extending her life and every single day is a blessing.
That's all for now. Please excuse the lack of comments as I read. I can't wait to find out how you're all getting on. I've missed you.
Thank you Laura. I love the randomness Thursday's in blogland.
1) We don't really do Halloween over here; not for grown ups who aren't off drinking anyways. But since I am feeling left out of the costume photos, here is one of me in 2010 at a friend's 30th.
Do you know who I am?
2) I made that costume. From scratch. Myself! Yes I am fabulous. Thanks very much.
3) All my left over Halloween sweets went in the bin. I ate 3 yesterday, 3
today and that could have continued for a while. Don't get me wrong, I HATE throwing food out but I was giving it away and this way I don't have to eat it.
4) It's half term this week. One week of no school. I have had TONS to get caught up on. I have finally started organising my Pampered Chef paperwork and got around to clearing out my spare room which was full of all my stuff from my old school. Most of it is in the loft but at least I have a useable guest room again rather than a room fit for the Hoarders organisers to deal with.
5) I went for lunch with some of the girls I did teacher training with today. One has a new baby and the other has just got married. They are both such lovely people. Everyone needs more friends like them in their lives. I cannot remember how we got onto the subject of how much I have changed since we all first met but it prompted a big discussion. I ended up telling them the story of seeing the ex at the funeral and comparing the photos as that was the year they met me.
January 2005
October 2012
They think I look younger now ... 8 years later ... can you say NSV?!!!!
6) They were really interested in hearing about my blog and surgery and just how everything has changed so much in the last year. I let them read my bandiversary post. They both nearly cried. I promised them I would tell them the web address when I was at goal.
7) I also told them that even if they typed my name, primary teacher, lap band blog and Hertfordshire into google, it wouldn't find me. They would need to be a part of the lap band community because blogs don't just come up. I just tested it. It does. I'm result 2 onwards. Oops.
8) A2 is working too hard. I am off work. This does not make for a balance of texting. I am not happy. I may even be happy to go back to work next week so it doesn't feel like he hasn't texted me in weeks when it has only been an hour or maybe 2.
9) People who have noreply@blogger emails when I want to respond to their comment, suck! Go into settings and tick the share my email box. It allows people to email you back when you comment and say nice things to you. And while I am on the subject get rid of those really annoying prove you aren't a robot word/number insanities! They are HARD! Robots are clever. Probably more clever than me because I could barely cope with one word and now there are 2!!!
10) Dive club tonight. I haven't been in forever. I hope they remember who I am.
Well I was hoping to see this for my bandiversary last week but I have nothing but joy at sharing it with you all now.
**drum roll**
I declare that I am now over half way to my goal weight!!!!
In stones
In pounds
In kilos
This has moved my BMI down to 29.4. I don't know when I went down into the 29's but do you know what this means???
I am NOT obese!!!!!
Who wants to dance around with me like a crazy person? Woo hoo!!
Things are still going well with A2. We've had 7 great dates. It nearly all went wrong on Sunday. We had a bit of a miscommunication. It was all sorted but I hate that it happened. It did mean that we both realised this means a lot to both of us, certainly more than he has let on before. I can't wait to see him again!
Today is my mum's birthday. She's 64. I'm going out to dinner with her and my dad tonight. It should be interesting. I've never been to this restaurant before and my dad, who I don't get on with well, is the ultimate feeder. He loves others to eat lots so his monstrous portions are less obvious. We shall see. I am not keen to see these numbers vanish again. Unless of course I am exchanging them for a lower variety!
5 months today until Mexico and I would really love to loose 2 stone before then, that's 28 lbs for you non-stone working people. It would take me to 11 stone 5 3/4 or 159.8 It's a very healthy and respectable weight but still a little above my goal. To do it though, I will need to get off my arse and work out a bit more. Of course if things moved a bit quicker with A2, I could get an entirely different sort of workout. ;o) xx
Never get me wrong, I LOVE my band but there are times when I want to throttle her.
Whenever I am with A2 I get really gurgle-y. He thinks it's funny. I get hideously embarrassed. I've tried to pass it off as my band when I eat but it doesn't do that any other time. It's just around him!!! I'm now wondering if its a banded equivalent of butterflies in my tummy. Any body else noticed something similar? It's not tight or gassy or anything just gurgle gurgle gurgle.
Lately I've also had a few reflux time incidents. Not badly but annoying. Woken me up twice and always HOURS after I went to bed. I've avoided eating for a while before bed which Catherine mentioned. (I love how we share these things) It's really helped. I ate late last night. A2 was supposed to be taking me for dinner but stuffed himself at the cinema watching Skyfall in the afternoon. (2 packets of popcorn, a hotdog and nachos!!) so there wasn't much point. I had a slice of cheese on toast WAY too late. I knew it would be bad. I woke up at 4 and took something and went back to bed. This morning when I got up at 9, nothing was going down. I felt rough and miserable. I made coffee. Yummy real stuff. I've been trying to cut down on that too since the reflux. 1 little sip, not even a mouthful and all my symptoms vanished. In seconds. Band sprang back open. Reflux feeling went. Vitamins went down a breeze. Now if only coffee sorted the embarrassing gurgle gurgle thing, I'd be onto a winner. Xx
One
year ago, I was in a dark place. Not literally obviously as hospitals,
even private ones, are generally very well lit, but emotionally.
August 2011
My
ex left me in September 2011. I was heart broken. I cried more than I
didn't. Physically doing anything took all my strength. I don't actually
remember how I made it through the days at school. I barely
functioned.
September 2011
I
would never have admitted it but I had a terrible relationship with
food. I ate, probably the same as we all did pre band but in a permanent
state of denial. It was never what I ate. It was always something else.
Whenever I ate, regardless of what I ate, I would berate myself for my
lack of will power, for my endless hunger and cravings. How useless was
I? Not only did I want feeding, but I desired food permanently. I
planned holidays, trips, everything around my desire for food and that
just showed how weak I was. I mean surely normal people didn't dream
about food and feel the need for it 3 times a day. How crazy is
that?!!!! If I ever ate a chocolate biscuit in the staffroom, I would
bargain with myself. I would look in the mirror and demand that my
useless fat body loose weight. It rarely did.
August 2011
So
amongst all this, it became apparent I was working for Lord Voldemort's
evil twin sister. I won't go into the details but basically the woman
decided she didn't like me and the double standards began. I would
follow the same procedures and rules as everyone else but I would be
wrong. I got yelled at in front of staff, children, parents, anyone. She
was hideously unprofessional and very unsupportive. I was to be last
year's scape goat. It's how she works. It is all x's fault. Last year,
mid terrible break up, that was me.
September 2011
Then
just when I thought it could get no worse, it got worse. My beautiful,
wonderful mummy was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in her lungs.
It had micro metastasized to her lungs and other than 'delaying tactics'
there is nothing they can do. My mum and I are close. It hit me like a
brick wall at 150 mph. I was as low as I had ever been and the universe
was finding a whole new low for me to crawl into.
August 2011
My 'best friend' could barely be bothered to talk
to me. All she wanted to do was talk about her new perfect relationship
and her new perfect life in her new perfect house. I mean seriously, my
mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer and she says, "You know where I
am if you need me. You can come and see the house this weekend." (I
think she missed the part where I barely got out of bed for a week!) She
asked me to babysit for her at half term, I said I was busy (I was) and
then a couple of weeks later, I said I was having trouble coping,
working etc and couldn't wait until Easter, her response was "Neither
can I, we're going to Mexico."
September 2011
August 2011
So what has changed in the last year?
I've lost 39.7 lbs
I'm
not halfway but my weight loss did not start moving until well into the
new year. I have 24 weeks until I go to Mexico and if I can loose 1 lb a
week until then, I will be thrilled.It's not the be all and end all
though. I am starting to see my weight as a number not a measure of my
self worth. I've dropped several dress sizes but it depends on the cut,
style as to exactly how many. I can see it though. I can see my shape
has changed. My waist has emerged more. I'm slimmer all over and my
silhouette is looking great. Of course, it'll be better when the next
42.8 lbs has gone. There may be more surgery in my future, an arm lift, a
bum lift, some liposuction maybe but for now, I am satisfied, happy
even.
August 2012
August 2012
I
still love the odd chocolate biscuit but I never make myself feel
guilty about them anymore. If I eat them, I eat them. I will do better
tomorrow or the next day. I am winning the war but I am not in a sprint
for the finish. It doesn't make me queen of the bandsters or super
banded Sarah but it makes me normal. I don't think twice about going out
for lunch, dinner, a drink. I don't worry about how fast the numbers
are going down and that means that once in a while I can treat myself. I
know if I was religiously on track, I would be a lot closer to my goal
but being mentally closer to a healthy relationship with food, beats
that hands down.
August 2012
August 2012
So
while some friendships fell apart at the seems, others have been
cemented. Local friends who know have come into their own and brand new
friendships have been forged. Many of them crossing international
borders. I cannot wait to meet many more of you in person. You are
incredible and inspiring women who make me want to strive to do better,
be better every day. When I don't blog, I think about you. When you
don't blog, I think about you. You are my friends, my biggest blessing
from this year. You have been the rocks I needed in the tough times. I
cannot thank you enough. I love you all. Lots.
July 2012
August 2012
I
came back from the States in August and fell into a pretty incredible
new job at a new school. I am covering for another teacher on long term
sick. I have a beautiful class. They make my heart sing. I work
alongside another amazing teacher, the Head is great and incredibly
friendly and although like every school there are little things you
would change if you could, I have really landed on my feet. I'm crossing
my fingers that something will happen so that I can stay but not in a
bad luck for anyone else type of way.
August 2012
August 2012
And for those of you still holding your breath ...
yes things are going very well, albeit very slowly with A2. I REALLY
REALLY like him but I am not keen on this very slow thing. In my head
(because part of the evil brain still resides in there) if he isn't
trying it on, he can't fancy me that much. We've talked about it. He
says he does. He says he wants to get to know me and trust me first but
queen of the skeptics here is starting to believe that if he doesn't
feel that way yet after a month of pretty much non stop texts, will he
ever? I know that I just need to be patient but I'm the girl, I should
be beating him off with a stick not be trying to talk him into bed.
Someone has pointed out that my issue with it, is my lack of control.
It's all very vague wishy washy rules that I swear he makes up as he
goes along just to be awkward. It really doesn't seem to be of any
religious or personal belief. However, I am being a good girl and going
at his pace. No girl would ever be expected to say "I'll be ready in x
dates or x weeks" but I do think I may go crazy before we get there. I
don't know if he's "the one" and it's way to early to be using
boyfriend/girlfriend terms yet let alone the L words but the butterflies
are back. I feel special again. Maybe just maybe, I will find love
again.
September 2012
October 2012
For
those of you who haven't cottoned on, today is my one year
bandiversary. One year ago today, I was recovering from surgery with
very very low blood pressure and the urge to throw up and pass out
simultaneously as soon as I stood up (seriously I had to sit down
walking the 5 metres from my bed to the toilet). I thought the lap band
would change my life. I thought it would make me thin. I expected to
have lost all my weight by now. I NEVER realised the lap band would do
so much more. Nobody told me a band around your stomach can find you new
friends, help fix your head issues and mend a broken heart. Getting the
band was without a doubt, the best thing I have ever done. I may change
my mind about this when I have children or get married but for now ...
definitely. I celebrated with a chocolate muffin when I met up with some
friends after work and a new dress. (Fat Face size 12 - UK size 12
because I'm English! Whoop Whoop!)
Band, you've turned my world around. Thank you xx
August 2012
So
my final thought came to me via a song on the radio on my journey to
work today. Last year, I could NEVER have predicted the changes in my
life over the last year. There were days when I thought I wouldn't make
it, when I truly believed my heart would break before I made it to the
end. Strength is granted to us all and even when I was holding on by the
skin of your teeth, I was holding on and if I can, anyone can. Thank
you for holding on with me when I needed you. xxxxxxxxxxxxx
So when even a tiny bit more comes off the scale, it warrants and post and a round of applause and a pat on the back. And balloons. And champagne. And chocolate biscuits.
Girls, I cannot thank you enough for those words of support yesterday. I am not really an anxious person but certain situations really bring it out in me. Yesterday, when I posted I was full on ready to hyperventilate and hide in the bath tub, Laura Belle stylie. Heaven knows how she does it because my one little panic is nothing compared to how much she goes through but you all came running to my rescue. Perhaps it was the 4 emails I coincidentally got as I was walking out to the car from a certain online dating success story. Perhaps it was the million emails telling me I looked hot. Perhaps it was because A2 is just amazing, my anxiety disappeared very quickly. It was a great night. There was kissing and hand-holding and we had seats in a quiet little corner of the bar and had long chats while time slipped by so fast I didn't quite believe it when it was time to go home. He was a perfect gentleman, brought me home, didn't come in and text me when he got home. And again this morning. I really like him. I know it's very early days and I am desperately trying not to get my hopes up or read more into it than there is but he really is pretty amazing. I can't wait to see him again.
My pre date dinner was almost impossible to eat I was so panicked, so I put it in the fridge and heated it up when I got home. Problem with eating at 11:30 pm is that I was so hungry I forgot to chew. There are no prizes for guessing what happened next. Next date night, I will have to have dinner before the nerves set in or have mushies on hand for easy shoveling.
Just 2 more pounds until the halfway mark. Just under 3 weeks to do it. Fingers crossed.
The observant amongst you will notice that only one foot is one the scale. I wasn't cheating. I weighed properly but in order to take the picture without reflecting myself in the ever so shiny (thank you lovely cleaning lady) scale front I had to lunge back with one leg after the beep while keeping most of my weight on the front leg so the blasted thing didn't turn off.
I haven't seen A2 again but we are going to do something this weekend. He is really really lovely. Very chilled out, down to Earth and kind. I already like him much more than I should for someone I have met once of the internet and then I remember how many times I have met you girls. With the exception of Beth I haven't met any of you! I find that so hard to believe sometimes. I would walk through fire for most of you girls. I count you as among my best friends. When my mum's cancer was diagnosed, my actual "best friend" didn't call once, but you sent messages of support and encouragement and prayers from across the world. Its the emotional connection that counts, right? That's why I feel so close to you. And after non stop texts for the best part of 2 weeks, it's obviously why I feel close to him.
In other news A1 (nose ring tattoo guy) sent me a message. It said: "Fancy some company?" My response was very diplomatically worded. It went something along the lines of "You cannot ignore me for 3 weeks and then want to pop over for a cup of coffee and a shag. Thank you for your time. Good day." Although then again maybe it did contain the odd swear word or two.
I pegged it out of school today and drove like a demon to get to my fill appointment on time. After the fiasco of trying to book an appointment last week, I wanted to arrive a few minutes early and speak to the nice friendly clinic staff about the problematic booking hotline from the main hospital.
The hospital is a LONG way away and I have not been there post op at all, it used to all managed through the local clinics but now you have to ring the evil booking hotline - seriously you get better customer service from call centres in India.
The second I started complaining/whinging the lovely receptionist says she knows just who I was talking about. Yes she has no people skills and she will pass my concerns along to the client liaison officer about customer satisfaction.
I went, got weighed (those scales hate me but I have clothes on and have always been eating/drinking)
The nurse came and asked if I wanted the whole 0.3 ml I had out back in. I've been pondering this. I need a fill but the last few days (TOTM) and after getting a little stuck last week, I am in no rush to be overly tight. I loved the first week after the band release how much more freedom I had and pondered if I had been too tight. I did not discuss my rational with the nurse, I said no and she said, fine we will go for 0.15ml and add another 0.1 next month if you need it.
I was hungry driving home. :o( I had 1 and 1/2 low fat sausages for dinner and 1 homemade chocolate chip cookie from my test batch for my pampered chef whip cancer fundraiser on Friday. Several hours later I am still very content. There are 6 yummy cookies sitting on the side in the kitchen and I am not bother. Please let this feeling last now.
There isn't very long (3 weeks 2 days) to a superly significant day in my banded life. Inspired by Mari, I need to get to 41.5 lbs lost by then. Just over halfway. 4.2 lbs to go. Can I do it? We can but see but I am going to work damned hard to try.
I went on my date. I worked myself into a right state before hand. I was properly panicking that he wouldn't like me. He did. I did. We chatted about random stuff and deep stuff. I had already told him I'd had surgery but wouldn't tell him anymore until we met so I explained about bands, how they work and how brilliant mine has been for me. I told him about my blog and you wonderful people and how gutted I was not being with you in Chicago. (Seriously, tell me what weekend and city and I will be there next year, work be damned!) He's never been to the states so I told him about my experiences of California, New York and Florida and how one day I am going to drive across the US and come visit as many of you as I can. He told me about his work and how he hates it and how he wants to do something else. He told me about things he likes to do and we made lots of jokes and generally had a great time. There may have been a little kissing in the car park before home time and there may have been quite a few texts since. Watch this space. xx
Oh blogland. I am so so sorry. I have missed you more than I can describe. When I think about friends I need to catch up with you are right there at the top of my list but I have been insanely busy. There is even a boy involved. Don't worry, you have not missed out on any actual dates. This boy (another different A) and I have been emailing since the end of August, and now at the end of September, after many nights on the dating website chat bit and texting until the wee small hours while I try to finish my work and he tries to distract me, we are hopefully going to get our act together and meet tomorrow. I'm a little scared to write this in case it doesn't actually happen but I'm so excited I might actually explode. I refuse to get my hopes up after the last experience but we've really gotten to know each other and part of me just can't help it. I really really like him already. Cross everything.
I have been having a REALLY hard time dieting at my new school. Lunch is provided and not low fat/low calorie. I have to eat with the kids meaning that I don't always have as much control as I'd like. I spent the end of my lunch break last Wednesday heaving everything up again in the staff toilet. Had to get my TA to remove the monster spider in their first though. That was interesting.
Nevertheless, I must be doing something right. I am down to pre Disney weight and a bit more. The scale was being ultra friendly this morning as it had another 1/2 less than that until I got the camera. Bloody typical eh!
That is 13 st 10 1/4 lbs
192.2 lbs
87 kg.
Me and my friend's beautiful boy Henry
En route to the gym
On the way to work after only 4 hours sleep.
Playdough letters
I am loving my new job. I work with some great people, I have a great class and I am starting to find my feet. It's a long term supply contract covering for a woman who is off sick and likely to be until February. I want to stay for good. I don't know how that can happen without wishing bad things on someone else and that isn't really fair. There is a real sense of community spirit. Everyone, including the parents, keeps asking me how I am and how I am settling in. I felt so welcome I even did my bit for the school bake sale on Friday and made cupcakes. I made 12. I took in 11. One is for A. It's still in the fridge. If tomorrow gets cancelled, I am damn well eating it. Personally I think I deserve a medal for surviving this long with it in there.
Cupcake temptations
I hope you're all good. Loving the pictures on facebook coming out of Chicago. I am incredibly jealous and I am going next year £500 flights or not. In the mean time I am going to organise a UK BOOBS gathering. Who is with me? xxx
I am soooooo behind with blogging. I want to be here desperately but stupid work is holding me up. I have a big new parent presentation thing on Thursday and I am trying to be caught up and straight by then. On the plus side I have been working out like a demon. I did 2 hours at the gym tonight but I will be working until gone 11 as I have so much to do. C'est la vie!
I hope everyone is good? I've tried to flick through a few blogs but nothing is working. Maybe it is the internet's way of saying get your backside into gear missy and finish your work. Humph!
The date with D was a total bust. He was a complete git in person. He told me over and over again about how stupid people (his ex's) have been and he has to sort it all out for them and they didn't listen when he told them in the first place so it was their own fault ... Then he said about how he met "a really fit bird in a wheel chair" in a local nightclub but he didn't even think about it because that wasn't how he imagined his wedding pictures. I kid you not! Then he started on how his mate had just started seeing this girl with 2 kids and how he was completely cracked because who would want to be with a woman with kids. He was very elusive about himself and what he does, enjoys doing in his free time, his past etc. I found that a bit odd. He lives 20 miles away but doesn't drive because he has been ill and had his license suspended. At the end of the night he said when can I take you out for dinner and I told him I thought he was a nice guy but I didn't want to see him again. He argued about it. Why not? Give me 5 reasons? I thought this went well. We had so much to talk about earlier. I said about the driving and there not being any real chemistry and he tried to make out like I was being a total ***** because he was ill. Oh well thought I, as I drove away, maybe he will appreciate how the girl in the wheelchair felt.
In other news, school dinners are lovely and not very low fat in the new school. I need me a fill.
Dating sucks. Never heard from A again. Thank goodness I didn't let my frustrations get the better of me.
I've had a crazy few days since then. I've been to the Paralympic athletics. Sung my national anthem 3 times. Would have hummed along (and sung the words I knew) to the star spangled banner for y'all (did I pull it off?) buyer that was the last event and the medal ceremony was carried over. Sorry.
Tonight I have another date. With D. we started talking today and have spoken twice on the phone. Once for over an hour. I don't talk to anyone for that long. Ever. So I am going to meet him for a drink. I have marking to do and blogs to catch up on but you'll will forgive me, right? Wish me luck. Xx
Thank you for all your encouragement. It was incredible! I told him I was nervous before I got there but given over the last 3 day we have texted NON STOP it was so relaxed and easy. If I hadn't have known I was meeting him, I wouldn't have given him a second glance going into the pub. He isn't 'turn heads' gorgeous. He has lots of tattoos and HUGE holes in his ears but the nose ring is barely noticeable. The fun that followed was far more important.
We shall see what comes of it. xx
So anyways ... a while ago, inspired by another bandster, I decided to give online dating another go. I have never had much luck with the whole online thing. Generally the men I have met are all after one thing but I met a nice guy a while ago. He was short and spent our brief meeting picking at a scab on his elbow (gag) so I politely said it was nice meeting him but I wasn't interested. He wasn't either. Fair play. For the last week, I have been chatting to a very lovely guy (A) who is kind and funny and hasn't done the whole begging to see more explicit photos thing. (I don't do that. There are many who ask!) Tonight I said I looked like hell after work, so he asked for a photo ... after much laughing and joking, I sent him 3. First a nice one from last week for comparison, tonight when I got in and finally heading out to Zumba. He said I looked hot and there was more joking that was how I looked after Zumba but he sent a photo back and ... he has a ring through his nose, like a bull. I'm a little freaked out. I hate to admit it but I am rather straight laced, tattoos and piercings don't really do it for me. I was prepared for the big hole in his ear piercing and the tattoos. I am regularly telling myself not to be so shallow and judge him on his personality ... but he has a ring through his nose ... like a bull!!!!!! I am meant to meet him tomorrow night. I need to not be freaked out by then. Help, I need perspective.
In other news, new job is going well but loads to do! I can't wait for the boring meetings to end and the kids to start!!!
Hey all,
I am unbelievably sorry about my absence this week. I hate making excuses and all that but between jet lag, a wedding, a surprise party, a cupcake party evening I was helping at, several meet ups with old friends, getting a job and getting ready for starting school again TOMORROW I have had barely any time, and that has all been taken up with boring stuff like washing, ironing, tidying up, cleaning the fish tank (twice because I had been away) and consoling my cat (who seems to want to spend every second physically touching me since I have been back). There has just been no time for me to start catching up and I felt like I had to catch up before I could post. Realistically, I am not going to be able to do it. I start my new job tomorrow (details to follow) and the longer I leave it, the more behind I get. If there is anything I have missed, please tell me but otherwise, I shall try to pick up as I go and I am very very sorry.
I have missed you all terribly. Thank you for the sympathy about my bite. It has healed nicely although I'm a little worried it is going to scar. Boo! Mum and I had a fabulous time in Disney World. I haven't sorted out photos yet (see I have been busy!!) but I promise I shall post some soon along with this time last year comparisons. I was in shock virtually the entire time about the portion sizes. Last year I ate a full meal and dessert my myself EVERY DAY for lunch AND dinner but more about that in my holiday post.
So what do I have to tell you.
I got a job. It's a long term supply job until February covering for a woman who is off sick. The school is an independent (private) school and there are only 11 pupils in my class and I get a full time classroom assistant. The head has been trying to scare me about the parents. They want the best for their children (understandably) and want to feel like they are getting what they are paying for. Parents don't scare me anymore. I have been threatened, shouted at, physically intimidated and all sorts but I survive it all and I am still good to their kids. It's part of being a professional. Anyways, I go tomorrow and meet people, see my classroom and find out what I am meant to be doing. Eeeeek. It is less money than a regular teaching job with the same responsibilities etc but it is very valuable experience and a job for the next 6 months. Besides with 11 children and a supporting adult, I really cannot complain.
I saw fish shop boy on Thursday. Sheer coincidence, we were in adjacent lanes at a roundabout and he then followed me for another 5 minutes or so. We did the jokey window conversation thing and have been texting again. He hasn't said that he has dumped his girlfriend :o( and I don't really feel I can ask. Nevermind we should be meeting for coffee soon.
I went to see my ex on Friday. He wasn't expecting me. I wasn't even expecting to go. I had to buy new shoes for my new posh job and I went to pick them up from the shopping centre 5 miles from him on my way to my friends cupcake evening. Traffic made me late to the shops and leaving but I had this brainwave I would go and ask him for the tickets I have been texting and calling him (without any response) for. He was not pleased to see me but just stood in the doorway looking all grumpy. I said I wanted to talk about the tickets. He said I could have them. I asked why he didn't just say that before. Apparently it was all a bit much. 3 texts and a phone call in 6 weeks, is too much. Never mind. I asked if I could take them then but he said they hadn't been delivered yet ... red rag to a bull ... my friend Helena is going, her tickets arrived OVER A YEAR AGO!!!!!!!!!! "Oh I'll chase it up then" says he. I honestly don't know if he will. I don't know if he will send them to me as he promised but I am not going to just give up. I do know now that I can virtually close the book on this part of my life. It didn't make me sad to see him or hurt in any particular way. I didn't cry at all. It is over. I am ready to move on. I just want to take my Michael McIntyre tickets with me.
I certainly look the part right? And I get very hot and sweaty running around them all day.
I know I am eating much less than last year but it is a LOT. Too much. I have not been sticking to my 20 minute eating time but the goal of this holiday was to have fun and make special memories with my mummy. The diet can start again on Sunday when I get home.
In other news, I have been savaged by a vicious local creature. Although it feels like an alligator has taken a chunk out if my leg, first aid man thinks it was an ant! (cue any British readers rolling on the floor in hysterics) I feel like a total drama queen but the bite blistered badly and was about the size of a 50p!! They gave me anti biotic cream and anti itch cream and I am now spraying myself with insect repellent that smells like old man sweat. I can understand why they don't want to come near me. Ha ha. Xx
